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Name: candy
Country: Hong Kong
Metro: Hong Kong
Birthday: 2/13/1988
Gender: Female


Interests: badmintion..
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Occupation: Student


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Member Since: 5/29/2005

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Tuesday, November 10, 2009

不要放棄

今日 已經是第三個星期走堂啦

仲要走了required fully attendance的gp tutorial...

本身琴晚三點幾諗住訓一陣起身再做..

因為眼皮已支撐不住

結果一起身已經係9點幾的事...

我就算趕返去都已經上完了...

走了gp tutorial就要走埋social research..

因為.........我仲未趕好份recording..

已經訓到9點幾個頭都仲係好痛

中間又係暈到唔係好做到..又再訓一陣又再做..

好驚險地................3:05pm我終於submit了recording....

今次supervision....................應該可以好一點............

希望佢唔好再問我感受性問題...........

好難答.....

獲獲做recording要努力諗好耐的都是worker's feelings...

以前都唔使做的........

夜晚再睇返feedback.....

今次已經好少少........但係我的心依然好難過...

非筆墨能形容的感受

 

今朝收到佩姑的sms...

有幾句..真係好大的提醒..

'帶領你讀sowk的是上帝..祂揀選你..並不遺棄你為孤兒..祂是你隨時的幫助..你所作的一切是要討好上帝..遇見上帝...'

我相信..我正在走的是恩典之路

被上帝親自去琢磨是福氣..是恩典..是過於我所當的

努力....


Monday, November 09, 2009

Happy Birthday!

IMG_2448

To My Best Friend,

Happy Birthday!

Thanks for your understanding!!!!

happy and glad to see your progress of learning how to love

always proud of you indeed..

Add oil and insist

your task is not easy,but you're not alone

haha....

wish you can be blessed by God..

wish you can be more and more and more....healthy...

wish you can pursue your dream with more conviction...

wish we can friendship forever!!!!hahaha....

hope you love my gift ar!

your dear 15yr fd


Sunday, November 08, 2009

炆炆炆

做極都做唔岩

炆到喊

激死啦......

唔夠echo to stages development..

特登+多D....後面咪寫左囉.....

咁少時間邊做到咁多野呀!!!!!

好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆好炆............

做做做做做做做做做做做做做做做....

完全摸不著頭腦點解stages development可以咁快.......

呀!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

又要condense....我淨係好覺得condemned!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩好煩..

上帝可唔可以打救我...賜我有智慧...

我覺得好難做呀............好想喊呀

令我覺得我帶組帶得好差呀...分析得更差.............

我唔要自我否定...................................

努力...


Saturday, November 07, 2009

Wants V.S. Needs V.S. Happiness

今日做錯了決定

N世無買過雜誌.....

一來盡入眼簾的雜誌都污染我的思想..

二來有質素的都需時間咀嚼思考沉澱...

更何況我屋企張枱已經畀好多參考書攻佔了.......

連執整齊的時間都顯得奢侈..應該係話我真係太懶..

人畢竟係balance的....哈..........向外的我所有都好盡力的!!!哈哈哈哈哈.........

daddy媽咪已經見慣不怪...

讀asso個年都仲keep住日日煩住叫你執呢樣執個樣...

而家已經無再出聲..只係偶爾返到屋企會發覺你D書全部0係晒sofa到.....

可想而知幾咁亂............同我的心一樣

某程度上我屋企好反映到我的心理狀態...esp...bedroom..

哈哈哈哈......

簡而言之...以後都唔會再相信magazine了..

搞到我失望了一陣子..雖則hello kitty都令我開心了一陣子

買個教訓

 

傾唔成social policy....結果sit了brother組見sam yu

品性難移..係咁插咀..哈哈哈哈哈...堅唔好意思..好采fd底

雖然次次都好似吹水咁....其實都有貨仔出的...

突然令我諗起見KK的片段...好懷念一齊為present'出死入生'的片段..

我好享受大家一齊為住同一個目標的奮鬥的感覺

大家都認真

大家都願意付出

大家都想做到最好

大家都好夾

想搵到夾的人真係可遇不可求呀.........

要搵一個夾到做野的...比搵到一個朋友更難

或者佢都係想將city呢種culture帶入黎...

可惜........不同 畢竟就是不同

見到sam yu特別有親切感....maybe就係因為佢都讀過ASW

人忙左 一定係將情緒壓抑嘛?要咁樣先可以捱得過呢種生活嘛?

'一直咁壓抑爆咪好大獲?'

'唔會家,唔會爆家...壓抑係需要個喎..'

堅想同佢一直討論落去..可惜呢個唔係適當的場合..

特別我只係黎sit

最諷刺的是..我都認同某程度上要壓抑才捱得下去

 

每次上social policy都好用我的腦漿

見到身邊的同學都咁努力...已經寫晒outline可以問sammy的時候....

一方面為到大家的認真而高興...

第二方面...我很為自己擔心.....好有壓力...

我都好想花一個月去寫好呢份paper..

我真的好鐘意social policy...好想認真同sammy交流...畀佢inspire下我

首次係BU到搵到呢種感覺...

好可惜..................................每一個選擇都是有代價的

這 就 是 代 價

此世代...想慢工出細貨.....彷彿是幻想才能出現的

 

慾望 同 需要 只差一線

我的快樂建基於邊度?

上帝 求祢幫助孩子

每個月每逢到呢D時候..總係咁

幾時先可以好返?

 

好...WORK!


Friday, November 06, 2009

多變的生命

要嬲的理由有好多

要傷心的理由有好多

要開心的理由都有好多

因此 我選擇係度放底怒氣..放底埋怨...留開心0係自己個心到

 

好傷心..都好空白的supervision..或者其實都唔係唔開心...只係感受太complicated..i've not recognized yet

'姑娘你仲係用緊自己去帶組..應該要用小組去帶組...再講得白一D你只係用緊佢地去做你想做的野..再去追溯呢個原因就係你對小組最basic的理論未掌握到..又或者係未通透...如果你用自己去帶組..都好倦0者....一個人處理晒咁多野....佢地咁多人...你一定處理唔到個喎....'

當然...仲有好多..好多..好多...

佢講到後尾真係差點兒畀佢arise我的emotion...

眼淚差D湧上眼

好采off track了自己..真係覺得自己今次進度左呀!哈..................

唔可以再0係supervision到喊......太無用了!

其實.........當時我好努力諗緊可以點回應佢.....

但係我個腦真係空白..

佢仲問我有無你唔識handle的?

我個腦都空白....

我心入面個句.....我every situation都唔識handle...可以點問?!

成個supervision.....我好感受到自己的表達能力paralyized....

我只有回應............我的表現...顯示的就是..我因為第一次的經驗我唔相信佢地可以處理小組

'咁呢個都係一個時候畀姑娘去諗適適唔適合做social worker的...placement都係一個好好的場境畀你去經歷social work value.........social work好多都係一個信念..可以話係social work教呀..'

哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈哈.......................................

吞了一口涼氣

呢件事...已寫不下去

 

其二....人真的極之多變

琴晚可以向你丟水樽...搞到你濕

今日可以返返黎問你點樣帶....仲要勁乖

天呀....what's up?

不變的testing behavior...

對我而言.....好多交差點...

每一個picture我都好需要諗...點先係處理得最好....

而呢兩晚顯示了...

我真係太'冧'....

其實sir已經問我需唔需要同佢地講聲..去eliminate佢地的testing behavior

我拒絕了

因為.....我真係好唔想用power...我唔想屈佢地機...

不過我唔屈佢地機就畀佢地屈我機.....

我太無自己...太就佢地....

到今晚

結果我都係要用到power!

我無叫呀sir去鬧佢地!因為我好討厭咁的方法!!!

我都好唔鐘意鬧人.............平時佢地已經畀人鬧夠了...

但係我都好體會到.....

紀律...都真係佢地需要學習...

責任..更加係佢地要學習去乘擔.....

呢個世界唔係佢地想點就點.....

結果我都要鬧佢地...

我的心好唔舒服

但係我亦要相信自己為佢地好

我都唔係好明白點解佢地咁唔想黎開組我仲要迫佢地黎開組咁!

迫人的野我都好討厭去做

'強迫性自願'對我而言好難聽

但係...我亦要同自己講.....都係去緊佢地好

唉........我都好想同佢地一齊經歷..

由而家唔知咩叫尊重.......

去到識得尊重人的過程......

好多人我都想逐個逐個傾...

一個星期先去兩晚..

連做case的時間都唔夠...

我可以如何?!!!

上帝指教我.....

 

ok fine!

垃圾丟完!

繼續努力!



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